Thursday, July 7, 2011

July 7, 2011

A new day.  I love the start of a new day with a new dress.  It feels easy.  It feels hopeful.  It feels full of potential and possibility.
Last month was like a breather.  A small break.  A time away from lots of blogging and mostly just full of pictures.  I keep getting all kinds of valuable input about how this project might be better, stronger.  That's all good and well, but I think I live a very full life. Full of projects and full of time management and full of being busy.  Not alot of time for loafing, not alot of time for writing.  I realize that my art, the product is more valuable than the process... I want people to see how I get there to the end, any way I can, any way I know how and enjoy the ending but marvel at the process.  It is so hard to document my process perhaps because the intensity of the process is so personal. 
Sometimes I will be walking down the street thinking that what I am thinking I should blog about.  Then I get home and forget.  I try to write things down, but then things feel contrived because I inevitable edit my own thoughts when I type them out again. 
Medkänsla is a perfect example of how I had alot to say but was unable to find the time to write down some of those thoughts.  For example, while working on that dress, I was really trying to honor my Mormor's request that I don't turn it into art.  Years ago when she gave me that dress she said "don't cut it up".  Maybe she was joking, I don't know, but I thought about that while working on it.  I chose to embroider on it instead.  This dress was also a bit of a contradiction. It was my Swedish grandmother's Mexican embroidered dress.  It kind of embodied both sides of my family.  I wanted to think of this dress as a neutral ground for me to explore some symbolism representing both my Mexican and Swedish halves.  It wasn't easy, instead it made me think more about my own little immediate family and our journey to find a courage and compassion when confronting our own familial challenges.  Valor is another way to say Courage in spanish.  Medkänsla means compassion in Swedish.  Perhaps this dress should have been called the Swexican. 
I was so exhausted yesterday when it was time to take my final portrait.  I wanted to capture the exhaustion.. instead I feel like it turned out a little like one of Cindy Sherman's film stills.  Which leads me to ask myself, what am I hoping to accomplish with this project.  It is soon to be over.. I am 3/4 of the way done... 75%!  I must admit it has become easier... I accept the challenge more, but I am also realizing that not every month has to be spectacular.  Some months there is a need for the understated.  Where will this month take me?  This dress is so funny, huge shoulders, weird zipper in the back...
I just took a tour of the High Fashion exhibit at the Shelburne Museum and I am feeling a little inspired.  I am starting to perhaps think there is a need for a reprise of Tulle, after all my next show Opening Sept. 23rd, 2011 at the Helen Day Art Center in Stowe, VT will be called The Tulle Did Her In.  There will even be a little blurb about it in ART NEW ENGLAND for the Sept./Oct.  issue. 
Despite all the pauses, and perhaps even self doubts at time, I feel that my slow but steady production and anticipation of future success has served me well.  One moment at a time. One stitch at a time.  Ten minutes every day.

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